Buzz Word(s) of the Day: Gun Control

Question:  Why is the term "gun control" such a black and white issue for so many people?  Why is it that the minute you mention anything about it people get all crazy and defensive?  Why as adults, are we so incapable of looking at the bigger picture and finding a middle ground that actually makes sense?

I feel that people should have the right to own guns, have them in their home, and use them (legally of course).  I also feel like there is nothing wrong with having a gun in your home to use in case you or your family are in danger and need to shoot the shit out of someone who is trying to do the same thing to you or a loved one.  You can bet your ass if someone came into my home with a gun and pointed it at my husband, or my child, I would not hesitate to shoot that person before they could harm my family.  I think that is my right. I do not think "gun control" as it refers to limiting or taking away everyone's freedom to own weapons is right or logical.

But here is the major problem with gun access in this country.  Everyone, has very easy access to these weapons.  It takes very little to obtain a gun. Don't get me wrong, I plan to obtain a gun to have in my home. I have grown up around guns my whole life, and feel having one in my home for security purposes, or target shooting for fun, is great.  BUT, I very much intend to use it responsibly.  It will be locked up, not loaded, I will take classes to learn how to use them, how to be safe with them, etc.  And in addition, I am pretty sure that I am mentally stable and healthy and will not allow anyone who may be unstable or mentally unfit to have access to my guns at all.  If everyone in the world was like me, or like my family members who know how to use guns responsibly I would say everyone should have the right to have a gun.  But, thinking in the bigger picture, many people are not like me.  And it usually takes something tragic for us to be reminded of that.

I think everyone should have the right to the OPPORTUNITY to have a gun.  What I mean is that, you can have a gun, as long as you pass some very important evaluations and requirements before doing so, such as demonstrating safety skills, knowing the legal side of using it, and proper maintenance and storage, and most importantly A MENTAL EVALUATION!  For many people, these measures seem silly and inconvenient.  But, there are also many many many people who are able to obtain guns, just as easily as me, you are not mentally fit to have one, or do not have enough knowledge on how to safely and properly use it.

Let's say I get a gun.  All I had to do was apply for the license, registration, and maybe a take a course.  Boom, I buy a gun.  Is this OK?  Sure, because I am responsible and will only use my gun for appropriate reasons.  And I have fairly good judgement skills, so if I was in a life or death situation and felt the need to use my gun for protection, I would more than likely make a reasonable choice about whether or not I should indeed use that gun.  I didn't need a psychological test in order to be safe with my gun.

Now a person with no criminal background, but suffers from severe mental instability and is not being treated  for this mental illness, goes into the same gun store, gets his license, registration, maybe takes a gun course, and buys a gun.  Same process.  Except he has delusions that his parents, coworker, friend, etc are plotting to kill him, so he needs to take care of that.  He got a gun just as easily as I did.

Again I do not think people should have their right to own guns taken away, but I do think that as responsible adults we need to look at the bigger picture and realize that their need to be stricter guidelines on how guns are obtained.  If it makes it more complicated for someone like me to get a gun, that is FINE as long as that means that it makes it just as hard for someone like the Adam Lanza's of the world to get them too.  And, if you are inclined to disagree with that statement, let me put it this way :"If you had a child in first grade, and someone came into their classroom and shot a killed your child and their schoolmates, would that fact that you were easily able to obtain your own gun put your mind at ease about the fact that crazy people running around in the world can at this moment get a gun just as easily as you can because that is their right?"

I should note that in this particular case, Adam Lanza got his guns from his mother who was a collector.  They were legally obtained and my guess is that she never used them for any purposes other than what she was legally able to use them for.  However, she was not responsible with those weapons, and obviously did not take precautions to keep them out of the hands of her son, who clearly was suffering from severe mental illness.  In this case, I do not think she should have had the right to have those guns, because she could not handle them responsibly.  Same with a knife, I am not going to leave a knife on the floor around a toddler because that would not be safe.  If something happened to that toddler, I would be responsible because I failed to keep my knife out of the hands of someone who could not use it safely.  If you can't handle your guns, you shouldn't have guns.  And keeping them out of the hands of people who could be dangerous with them is a major part at being able to handle your guns.

I also should note that I also think that no matter how far gun control goes, there will always be gun violence...ALWAYS.  Criminals are going to obtain guns illegally, and even if they can't get a gun, will find another method to get the job done.  HOWEVER, there are many people out there, not necessarily "criminals" but extremely unstable, psychotic, mentally ill people (the Adam Lanza's of the world) who so often obtain guns legally, and then do tragic and unspeakable things that could have potentially been prevented with more screening, more responsibility, and more mental health services.

So I don't think people should have their guns taken away, but I also think that people who are so against gun control that they aren't willing to consider any middle ground are being completely ignorant to what is happening in the world right now.  As a mental health professional I can assure you, there is a lot of CRAZY in this world, and not enough mental health services in the world to address it all, and people slip through the cracks, and tragic things happen.  Can we not be adults and look beyond ourselves and our own lives and realize that their needs to be changes made.  And, related topic, more focus on mental health services.  Why are guns so accessible, yet mental health services are so hard for people to obtain?

I truly believe guns are not the problem.  The people behind the guns are the problem.  And the way that people obtain guns is the biggest problem of all.

Belly Button! Where did you go!?!?!

I am officially 8 months pregnant this week.  I feel great!!  Except for the normal side effects of stuffy noses, sore joints, lack of breath, squished internal organs, waddling, etc.  I can definitely tell that Baby Corey has had a growth spurt just within the last week.  I am bigger, my belly button is flatter, and he has been giving me the most amazingly strong punches and kicks that stop me dead in my tracks and force me to catch my breath.  I swear one of these times he is going to bust through and go all Alien movie on me.  I am so thankful for all of these symptoms that reassure me that everything is going well.  While I never had this little control over my body and have pretty much decided that nothing about my body works the way it used to anymore, I also feel so much stronger than I ever have, even though it takes me 10 times longer to get my butt up and off the couch with quite a few huffs and puffs.

I am also now officially in nesting mode.  We have been working hard on getting Corey's nursery in order, putting away toys, organizing clothes, etc.  This boy is SPOILED!  I can't believe all the things he has already.  I knew it takes work to keep a kids room clean, but little did I know that this is a challenge even BEFORE the kid is even born!  I think I already have about 8 loads of clothes to wash, and have also realized that my opinion that we probably wouldn't need a toy box for a baby was 100% wrong.  But the room is coming together nicely, with Daddy's help of course, and I think Corey will feel right at home once he is ready to move in.

Considering I am a rather anxious person by nature, it is suprising to me how not nervous I am for Corey to arrive.  I have always just felt my entire life that my purpose on Earth was to be a mom, and I am so ready for the challenge.  I am nervous about breast feeding, especially once I go back to work.  And I am nervous that I will feel like I am not spending enough time with him once I go back to work.  I feel like the daycare workers will see him more than I will!  I am already having MAJOR separation anxiety about taking him to daycare once I am done with maternity leave.  I am so thankful that someday I will be able to be a stay at home mom and probably won't have to go through this with furture children, but having to accept that your first baby will be in the care of non-family members makes me jealous.  Why should they get to spend so much time with him!?!?!  I cried dropping my dog off at the kennel for Thanksgiving, how in the world can anyone expect me to drop off my child and leave him everyday!?!?  That is just not natural.  I think Daddy is going to have to do the dropping off and I will do the picking up.  Daddies are much stronger and rational than mommies when it comes to this I think.

So now I am just counting down the days until Corey is due to arrive.  57 days!  Hopefully he decides to grace us with his presence a little earlier than that though as I am getting very impatient to meet him =D